The Floor is Lava!

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon. Dad was reading the paper. Mom was making tea. Grandma was in her chair with a cup of tea and her show on. Volume up LOUD. Then Jasper shouted it. "THE FLOOR IS LAVA!" Jasper jumped on the couch. His sister Rosie jumped on the armchair. Buster's tennis ball rolled to the back of the seat. Dad threw his paper in the air and leapt onto the coffee table. CRASH! Mom grabbed her tea and climbed onto the kitchen counter. CLANG! SPLASH! Everyone was safe. Grandma hadn't moved. Still watching her show. Still sipping her tea. She hadn't heard a thing. "I'm getting to the kitchen!" said Jasper. "There's snacks!" He jumped from the couch toward the cushion on the floor. Missed. He grabbed the curtain. RIIIIIP! Down came the curtain. Down came Jasper. THUMP! He landed right at Grandma's feet. Grandma looked down. "You alright, love?" She went back to her show. "JASPER'S IN THE LAVA!" screamed Rosie. "HE'S OUT!" Jasper sat on the floor next to Grandma. Arms crossed. "No fair," he muttered. Dad's tea was on the kitchen counter. Across the lava. He stretched one foot toward the bookshelf. One hand on the mantelpiece. He was doing the splits between two pieces of furniture. "Easy... peasy..." he said through gritted teeth. His legs started shaking. His fingers were SO close to the tea. Almost there... THUD. "DAD'S IN THE LAVA!" screamed Rosie. "HE'S OUT!" "I'M MELTING!" shouted Dad, rolling around on the carpet. "TELL MOM I LOVE HER!" Buster walked over and licked his face. SLURP. Buster was standing right in the middle of the lava. "BUSTER'S IN THE LAVA!" screamed Rosie. Buster wagged his tail. He trotted across the room and jumped on Grandma's lap. Grandma patted him. "Good boy." The lava didn't bother Buster one bit. "I need the toilet," said Mom from the kitchen counter. "How bad?" asked Dad from the floor. "Don't ask." Mom took a deep breath. She jumped from the counter toward the hallway rug. Her foot landed one step SHORT of the rug. "MOM'S IN THE LAVA!" screamed Rosie. "SHE'S OUT!" Mom didn't care. She got up and ran down the hall. SLAM went the bathroom door. It was just Rosie now. Standing on the armchair. Last one in the game. Everyone else was on the floor. Jasper by Grandma's chair. Dad by the couch. "I'M THE LAST ONE!" Rosie shouted. "I'M GOING TO WIN! I'M GOING TO—" Buster's head popped up from Grandma's lap. His ears went forward. He'd spotted something on the armchair. His tennis ball. Right behind Rosie. "Buster... no," said Rosie. Buster jumped off Grandma's lap. "Buster... NO." He bounded across the room and LEAPT onto the armchair. WOBBLE. Rosie's arms went out. WOBBLE. WOBBLE. "No no no no—" THUD. Rosie was on the floor. Buster was on the armchair. Tennis ball in his mouth. Tail wagging. "ROSIE'S IN THE LAVA!" shouted the whole family. "SHE'S OUT!" The whole family sat on the floor and looked at each other. Then they all looked at Grandma. Grandma looked up from her show. At the curtain on the floor. At the cushions everywhere. At her whole family scattered across the carpet. "What ARE you all doing?" she said. "THE FLOOR IS LAVA, GRANDMA!" Grandma took a sip of her tea. "Guess I win then." She turned the volume up and went back to her show. She'd been playing the whole time and never even left her chair. THE END.