Artie Asks-a-Lot

Artie asked a LOT of questions. At breakfast — "Why is it called breakfast?" At the park — "Why is the sky blue?" At bath time — "Why do my fingers go all wrinkly" Artie's brain NEVER stopped buzzing. Then one Tuesday, Artie discovered something.. Something shocking... He couldn't lick his own elbow! He tried from the left. He tried from the right. He stretched his tongue SO far it nearly touched his chin. But no matter what... He. Could. Not. Reach. "JAKE!" Artie burst into his big brother's room. "Why can't I lick my own elbow?!" Jake didn't even look up. "Easy. Your arm bones are too... bendy. It's a bone thing." "That doesn't sound right." "It's DEFINITELY right. I learned it in science." "You failed science." Jake put down his controller. "Fine. Watch THIS." He grabbed his elbow, stuck out his tongue, and twisted his whole body sideways. CRASH! He knocked his lamp right off the desk. "...Ask Mum." "MUM! Why can't I lick my own elbow?!" Mum put down her sandwich. She got her Thinking Face on. "Well sweetheart, it's because your elbow is joined to your arm, which is joined to your shoulder, which is joined to your... no wait." She stared at the ceiling. "It's because your tongue and your elbow are always the same... hmm." She stopped. "Hang on. That's not right either." Then Mum did something unexpected. She tried it. Her tongue went left. Her elbow went right. She twisted like a flamingo eating spaghetti. BONK! Her head hit the cupboard door. "...Ask your father. He's in the garden." Dad was watering the plants. He nodded very seriously when Artie asked the question. "Ah YES. The elbow question. I've been WAITING for this day." He put down the hose and cracked his knuckles. "The reason, Artie, is because of SCIENCE. The tongue is the strongest muscle in your WHOLE body. But the elbow has a force field around it. You can't see it. But it's there." "Dad, that's not—" "STAND BACK." Dad lunged at his own elbow like a dog chasing its tail. He spun. He twisted. He bent in ways that no Dad should EVER bend. SPLOOOOSH! He stood on the hose. Water shot EVERYWHERE. The dog got soaked. The cat launched off the fence. WOOF! HISSS! SPLASH! "...Ask your teacher. She'll know." The next morning, Artie marched straight into class. "Mrs. Wilson! Why can't I lick my own elbow?" Mrs. Wilson's eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning. "What a BRILLIANT question, Artie!" She pulled out books. She pulled out charts. She drew on the whiteboard with three different colours. "You see class, our arms can only bend so far. They CAN'T bend enough for our tongues to reach our elbows!" "Can we try it?" asked Artie. Mrs. Wilson paused. "...In the name of science, YES." Twenty-three kids stuck out their tongues at the same time. CRASH! BANG! THUD! Chairs tipped over. Books went flying. Lily got her head stuck under her desk. Tom licked Sophie's elbow instead of his own. "EWWWWW!" Mrs. Wilson was standing on her chair trying to reach her OWN elbow when the principal walked in. He stared. Everyone froze. "...Why is everyone licking their elbows?" "ARTIE ASKED!" shouted twenty-three voices at once. That night, Artie sat at the dinner table with a big smile on his face. "Did you find your answer, love?" asked Mum. "Mrs. Wilson said our arms can't bend far enough," said Artie. "But she said asking the question was the BEST part." Dad nodded. "She's right." Jake shrugged. "I still think it's a force field." Artie grinned. "Okay... but why can't I pat my head and rub my tummy at the same time?" Mum's hand went to her head. Dad's hand went to his tummy. Jake grabbed his controller like a shield. And the whole room started trying. THE END